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File: TheDyingArtOfTheInsult Some barbs from time gone by: ********> width="50%" * "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr * "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill * "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow * "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). ******** width="50%" * "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) * "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas * "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain * "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde ********< ---- ********> George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: * "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." ******** Winston Churchill, in response. * "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." ********< ---- ********> width="50%" * "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop * "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright * "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb * "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson * "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating * "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand * "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.." - Forrest Tucker * "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain * "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West ******** width="50%" * "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde * "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) * "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx * "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard * "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford * "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed * "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder * "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln * "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill ********< ---- ********> An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: * She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." * He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." ******** A member of Parliament to Disraeli: * "Sir! , you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." * "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.." ********< ----