The Dying Art Of The Insult

   
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Some barbs from time gone by:

  • "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

  • "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

  • "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

  • "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

  • "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

  • "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

  • "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

  • "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
  • "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
Winston Churchill, in response.
  • "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
  • "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
  • "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
  • "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
  • "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
  • "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
  • "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
  • "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.." - Forrest Tucker
  • "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
  • "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
  • "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
  • "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  • "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
  • "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard
  • "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford
  • "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed
  • "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
  • "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
  • "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

An exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

  • She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
    • He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
  • "Sir! , you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    • "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.."

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